please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
