He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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