new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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