i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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