if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
