; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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