So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
