I'm drive I can fine osifer
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
