she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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