Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
