Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
