The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
