You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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