Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
