i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
