The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
