at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
