you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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