Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
