Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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