There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
