You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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