my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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