i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I stole a fireplace last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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