i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And then he peed in my hair
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