Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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