North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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