can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Still dying that you shit outside
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
