2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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