You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
