Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
