biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
