is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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