Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
