Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
