Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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