What did we do last night that was yellow?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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