apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The feeling are messing with the penis
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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