I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
