My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
