You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
