so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
