hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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