they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize