bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
