lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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