Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
