the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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