So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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