UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
