There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize