kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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