I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
