My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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