Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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