and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize