put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Your mouth is God's brothel.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
