Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
