While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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