It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
