he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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