their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
