WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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