Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
