It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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