Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize