I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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