Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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