I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
