i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
