Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
