The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
