i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
