I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
