you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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